actually this ain’t a real post.
i just came back from HONG KONG saturday evening (oh, great opening to post a pic from my HK outing, keke! and yea, i’ll be blogging about it, but it’ll be over at my personal blog.)
anyway, was trying to catch up on work and stuff, and also trying to catch up on the postings on wuri yong joon whilst i was away.
guess most of you would have read THAT STAFF BLOG ABOUT HIS GORILLA OUTING ON SUNDAY, ya?
well, i was happy to read that he felt well enough to want to come out, and that he seemed to be in great spirits. yea, when he went all quiet after THAT NECK INJURY SCARE, we couldn’t help but worry. especially it seemed serious enough to halt all plans for him to show up more in DREAM HIGH.
(sidetrack alittle here… have you watched Dream High?
gotta ‘fess up, i haven’t. in fact, i was really of mixed minds about watching it, coz it didn’t quite seem the sort of storyline that i would enjoy.
besides, i hardly even know the cast. the three whom i can recognize are wuri yong joon, of course! and my hyun joong and JYP… yea, hardly helpful, I know…
but that said, the drama’s been getting rave reviews, not just from kpop music lovers who would obviously love a song-and-dance story like that, but even the non-kpop peeps were lapping it up! i’ve even heard of people who have gone so far as to call it their drama of the year. mind you, we’re only into our third month for this year, keke!
so… i’ve been enticed and intrigued enough to want to watch it. yea, i’ll be watching it pretty soon, once i get all those ‘catching-up on stuff’ out of the way.
if you haven’t watched Dream High, or if you weren’t planning to watch it, please pretty please reconsider, alrighty?)
ahhh… talking about his sunday outing to gorilla with the keyeast staff and their families. remember the part where he was lamenting about how the staff are all younger than he is, and yet they’re all settled down and stuff?
that hint of loneliness has surfaced yet again, hasn’t it?
after reading that translation posted by our dear TOMATO, i’d started to pen a longish (what else did you expect..? hee…) email to her to share my thoughts. then i decided to just post my entire email here too… coz it’s basically just my rambling and whining. you know, stuff that i would usually post on my old blog if i still have it.
read about the Gorilla outing… he sounds kindda lonely, ya? the part where he lamented about how the people younger than him all have families and stuff. i do feel sorry for him, you know? he obviously wants a family and is ready for a family; in fact, he seems to want to start his own family anxiously. it’s like he’s even been preparing himself to take complete and great care of a family, but but but…
guess not everything in life happens the way we want it, or plan it.
we really don’t know what’s going on in his personal life, do we? and all those marriage rumours, and that one with LA NA YOUNG just wouldn’t go away. it’s probably because of how both their mothers are friends, maybe…? (and oh, just for the record, i like LNY, keke!)
anyway, all these years, surely he would have had some introductions and would have met some women. i mean, it’s no secret that he’s been wanting to settle down, so surely there’ll be people trying to set him up with ‘suitably qualified’ girls, right?
know what i think? me thinks he probably has dated some women these few years. so i’m curious… isn’t there someone, anyone… who stirs his heart (and loins too, hee!) and someone he wishes to settle down with? or maybe there is, just that the timing is not right or ripe for an official announcement yet?
but on the other hand, i also am not sure how i will feel if he does go and get married.
where does that leave me, or us, his fans…?
i used to wonder about this alittle. the bigger part of me truly wants him to be happy, and by that, it usually means find a woman he loves and who loves him, and let them form a perfect family together, yada yada yada. most of the time, i think i can be happy for him, i mean genuinely happy for him.
but i’ll be honest, there’s also this small (really tiny!) part of me that’s not so sure how i will REALLY feel if he’s really attached legally and emotionally to a woman, a wife. would i feel differently towards him? would it make a difference when i see his new pics and his new works?
in my imagination, i think i won’t be much affected and i just want him to be happy. after all, it’s not like he’s gonna take a second look at me, right? i don’t and have never kidded myself with anything like that, so please… no worries about me getting all delusional. it’s just that i’ve absolutely zero experience with liking a married actor, haha! so i’ve no idea at all how a married BYJ might make me feel.
oh, i don’t know… but i guess alot depends on whether he continues to work more actively or not. if he continues his super low profile like how he has done for the past couple of years, and doesn’t show up much… and with no new work for protracted periods of time, it really can be quite hard for fans to retain their keen and passionate interest, right?
and… there are also times when i wonder if we, the fans, mean anything to him at all. if we do, why doesn’t he even leave us a message or something?
c’mon, how hard is that?
he, after all, is someone who actually has penned enough words to publish a word.
i’m not even looking for a long love letter, just a short paragraph will make me very happy, just tell us what he’s up to, and tell us he thinks of us often.
is that so hard for him to do? i ain’t even asking for a video clip. so he doesn’t even have to make his way to the beauty salon to do up his hair and his face. he just have to boot up his notebook and type a couple of sentences. or in fact, he can even do away with the notebook and just use the iPad or his phone to give us a few lines.
and isn’t that what most other artists do too, no?
yea, yea, i know there’s gonna be people who will retort and say, ‘if you want that, then go like some other actor. YJ is different…’
hey, i know.
this is a fan who’s been around since 2002. in fact, this is my 10th(!!) year as a bae-fan. don’t you think i know by now how different he is from the rest? but still, i believe that a star is not a star if without fans.
and yes, i also understand all that jazz about unreal expectations, blah blah blah.
but hey, this is hardly unreal expectation. he doesn’t accept work regularly and can ‘disappear’ from both big and small screens for a few years; he doesn’t show up much in public; he doesn’t do fan meetings (not much outside of japan, anyway), and he doesn’t even so much as give us a couple of lines or greetings on his own official board…
so tell me, what are we fans supposed to hold out for?
of course, we should be understanding and we should be patient. and yes, we should know by now he’s like that, blah blah blah… but still, in one tiny corner of my heart, there’s a nagging voice asking softly, ‘doesn’t he care enough to just greet us?’
even if it’s something out of character for him, can’t he do it just for us…?
i understand perfectly as a fan, i cannot demand. after all, he didn’t ask me to be a fan and he didn’t ask of me to do anything for him. what i have done and still do, it’s my own choice and i’m supposed to live with the ‘outcome’. yes, i understand that i became and stay a fan out of my own accord.
i understand all of these very very very well.
but i just wonder, why can’t he just spoil us once in a looooooooong while and ‘reward’ us for our patience by leaving a message…?
anyway, instead of just sending this meaningless and whining passage out as an email to TOMATO, i’ve decided to just blog this entire thingy out. this was what i used to do on my old blog, right? i used to blog my heart out, and i’ve just decided that i do wish to carry over a teeny weeny bit of the old blog personality over…
ahhh… i feel better already. thanks for ‘listening’.